gardening fail

I had huge dreams for this point in the summer: ripe radishes on my salad, fresh tomatoes for some sandwiches I've been seriously craving, an overall abundance of veggies that I'd be both sharing and canning.

I tried hard and wanted it bad, but my black thumb prevailed.

My cucumber and zucchini plants sprouted and said "this is as far as we go." Months later, I have two pots of sad, short sprouts. My tomato, onion, and pepper seedlings started in February looked promising as they grew in my bay window...and proceeded to die right after transplanting. My radishes grew and grew and grew...above the soil. I have huge greens with no radishes below. My lettuce wilted as quickly as it sprouted.

My zucchini and cucumber in July look much like they did in May.

Indeed, the only live plants at the Walsh home are the pretty Jasmine ones...the non-edible Jasmine plants I purchased and didn't grow myself. Yikes.

I want to be able to do it all. I try to do it all. And I swear, my dad made vegetable gardening look so darn easy when I was a kid. Plant-water-sunshine, right?

Those of you enjoying your bounty right now, help me out. Tips for next year? What should I try? Plant earlier? Later? Buy plants instead of trying everything from seed? Any trade secrets?