sean + bekah: the prequel

Every so often, people ask about our love story or wedding. I never bothered posting much wedding stuff as I'd already been married 2 and a half years when I started re•solve. I never talked much about our love story either as I don't find it so interesting (comparison is a dangerous thing!).

As it turns out, people who hear bits of our love story here and there are more intrigued (or at least surprised) than I expected. So, in true blogger fashion, I've finally decided to tell our story in teasing bits and pieces starting with today's "prequel:"

I dated a guy right out of high school who was no good for me whatsoever.

A young, naive, much more optimistic Bekah

While he never laid a hand on me, the relationship was clearly abusive. He showed all the "red flags" that women are warned about: he threw blame on me for trivial things (like doing my job), tried to keep me on a leash (if I set foot out of my house and he didn't get a phone call, he would throw a fit), and lied about everything to everyone. Of course, those were all signs of what I knew but didn't want to face: he was a lying, cheating, jerk.

I finally mustered up the sense to break up with him eleven months into the relationship. It certainly could have been sooner, but my stubborn self always said things like "it will get better," or I felt like I had something to prove to everyone who had already tried to warn me. (Ladies, I know you don't want to hear this because I've been there, but I will plead anyway. If this is you, please get out! There is something better waiting for you!)

Needless to say, after this relationship ended, a new relationship was the last thing on my mind. I focused on college, turning back into myself, and finding my future.

I was also frustrated with school at this point. I'd known all through school that I wanted to be a music major: specifically vocal performance.

high school Bekah was a theatre and choir nerd...

My dreams were basically shut down when, despite being accepted to all the schools I had applied to, my dad told me it was community college or nothing. The school was ten minutes from home, but didn't offer any of the courses I would need in that field aside from gen ed and some super pricey private voice lessons that my dad also refused to pay after my first semester. I was basically lost and frustrated.

I had broken up with the jerk right before fall semester. I went through the semester and did well, but with this frustration, I was seeking something new. I was sad that I wasn't singing, and I was realizing I needed to pick a new career path. The school had nothing of interest for me, and I was already paying all my bills while in school. I needed money and a career, and I needed them now. I shocked myself by deciding this full-time semester would be the last: I was going to enlist.

via

The following semester would be my "goodbye" of sorts. It was very part-time and consisted of three different PE classes that I took with some girlfriends of mine. In the evenings, I was learning ice skating, ballet, and ballroom dancing. During the day, I was working my part-time job as a beauty consultant with ULTA and meeting with my recruiter.

Halfway through the recruiting process, we hit a brick wall. I had passed my ASVAB with flying colors, and I thought my visit with MEPS had gone well. I, like all of my family, am very nearsighted. So nearsighted that I hit the limit at which the branch I was interested in would accept recruits. Another plan shot down. What now?

I lived in the same town I had lived in all along. I had some high school friends around, but most were away, and there was nobody new. I decided if I was going to be stuck here awhile yet, that it was time to meet new people and make new friends...


Come back next week to see what happens next! [update: read part 2 here]