re·solve to stay optimistic

The day started out optimistically enough. I had the morning off, the sun had returned, and the temperature had risen from yesterday's cold, rainy misery.

Like most Wednesday mornings, I was headed out for yoga class. Water bottle and hoodie in hand, I walked outside and grinned at the nice day.

"Bekah!"

I turned around. It was Bill. Bill lives in the apartment above mine, and in ways only God works out, he is a member of our church. It's definitely been a blessing to have him for a neighbor.

"Hi, Bill!"

"You know you have a flat tire?"

I feel frustrated but not surprised. Tires and I have never had a good track record. I thank him and go over to check things out. I don't see any punctures and I actually needed to replace my spare, so I call my roadside assistance (seriously, cell phone roadside assistance plans are the best!) for a tow and start calling around to get tire options and prices in the area.

My tow guy makes it ahead of schedule and is friendly enough. We get to my chosen tire shop and he goes his way. At this point I'm expecting to shell out $400 ish, which isn't my favorite thing to do, but I'm thanking God I have a savings account, albeit a minimal one, and will still have enough to pay the taxes that I'm not so thrilled about owing.

"Mrs. Walsh? Can you come with me for a moment?"

Uh oh...

Long story short, I needed to replace all four tires. And get an alignment.  And again, since tires and I have never gotten along, I ALWAYS get road hazard. Now that number has more than doubled, leaving crumbs left in said savings account. Great.

I wait in the lobby, hoping for a miracle as I start going through finances in my head. The tv is tuned into the History Channel, playing the history of my childhood - Atari, boomboxes, CDs, and Tamagochis. At least it's  good for a laugh. The front desk man and I have a good chat over it and I get to hear pieces of his life story, including his life change, one that can only be done by the Lord. I feel some encouragement and it keeps my mind off of the painful check I am about to write.

I pay without bursting into tears and go my way. I remember I have a free car wash coupon and head over to get that done for a little pick-me-up (seriously, it makes me feel better!).

I head home, thinking about the blog I had planned for today. Optimistic things that I suddenly no longer had the desire to write about. The day began well enough but had progressed to me feeling less than optimistic.

Then I think about why I blog. Sure, it's mostly vegetarian recipes, but I post those because I made a choice to change. My diet was just one change I chose to make. Shouldn't I then choose to be optimistic? My finances aren't where I would like them to be, but I can thank God I had any savings in the first place to pay for the tires. I can thank him for Bill and his help, as well as the good example he has been to Sean and I - throughout his own personal trials, he has never seemed miserable or unkind.

I pull into my parking lot, ready to blog. Seconds before I park, I see flashing lights behind me.

Seriously?

Now I'm holding back tears, wondering how worse the day could get. I'm praying for the grace that I'm certainly not feeling.  My savings are shot and now I'm going to have to pay a ticket on top of everything? It's only 2 o'clock. Can the day just end now?

"Ma'am, since you weren't too too speeding, and your record is clean, I'm going to issue you a written warning this time."

A sigh of relief comes out as I recollect myself and thank him.

I come inside and blog. Life isn't always (or ever, it sometimes seems) ideal, but God is good. And He's got this.